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lifestyle, books, Carl Hiaasen, squeeze me, detective story, book review
In 2017, Salman Rushdie said of the election of Donald Trump, while “it’s very bad for America (it’s very good for the novel”). Squeeze Me by bestselling author Carl Hiassen features a barely disguised Donald Trump, referred to here by a Secret Service codename, “Mastodon,” living in “Casa Bellicosa,” aka Mar-a-Lago. Carl Hiaasen, who was called, by the London-based Observer newspaper, “America’s Finest Satirical Novelist“, now has his own genre fictional name, “Black Margaritaville”. Squeeze Me has a history of exaggerated Florida excesses, exposing political corruption, societal inequalities, and environmental destruction. It starts at an Irritable Bowel Syndrome fundraising gala hosted by the “Potus Pussies,†a group of wealthy older women, led by Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, who sings the President’s serenade with a song, “ Big Unimpeachable You â€. Kiki disappears during the gala evening. Later, his “pearl pouch, martini glass and broken pink ecstasy tablet” were found next to a club pond. The light is shed on Kiki’s likely fate when Hiaasen’s main character, “animal capture agent,” Angie Armstrong, is summoned to the club to remove a huge Burmese python, “stunned after dinner” with a large revealing bump in its middle part. Hiassen said, “When it comes to wild pythons, I’ve been following their ravenous frolics across the Everglades for decades. I think it’s only a matter of time before what happens at the start of Squeeze Me. doesn’t actually happen in real life. â€Angie beheads the python on the spot, but further examination is foiled when it is stolen from her storage freezer. In the subsequent bizarre voyages of the python’s body, Kiki’s body is disgorged. Mastodon, desperate to appease the Potussies, decides that Kiki has been killed by an innocent Honduran asylum seeker, called by him the “Brown-skinned Demon of the Month”. Angie decides to uncover the truth, eventually with the help of the First Lady, known as the Mockingbird, who is having an affair with bodyguard Keith Josephson, (real name Ahmed Youssef), congratulated by the president unintentional for her “beautiful tan”. Mastodon is too busy to notice the affair, given his relationship with a stripper whom he passes off as his nutritionist. Hiassen admits that satirizing Trump isn’t easy: “The problem is, as satire, you can’t improve the words that really come out of his mouth.” Squeeze Me, under normal circumstances, would seem wildly over the top, but not in Trump’s America. Don’t expect it to be placed on the bedside reading tables at Mar-a-Lago, however.
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In 2017, Salman Rushdie said of the election of Donald Trump, while “it’s very bad for America (it’s very good for the novel”). Crush me by bestselling author Carl Hiassen features a barely disguised Donald Trump, referred to here by a Secret Service codename, “Mastodon”, living in “Casa Bellicosa”, aka Mar-a-Lago.
Carl Hiaasen, who was called, by the London-based Observer newspaper, “America’s Finest Satirical Novelist“, now has his own genre fictional name, “Black Margaritaville”.
Crush me has a background of exaggerated Florida excess, exposing political corruption, societal inequalities and environmental destruction.
Thisbegins at an Irritable Bowel Syndrome fundraising gala hosted by the “Potus Pussies,†a group of wealthy older women, led by Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, who sings the President’s serenade with a song, “Big Unimpeachable You â€.
Kiki disappears during the gala evening. Later, his “pearl pouch, martini glass and broken pink ecstasy tablet” were found next to a club pond.
Light is shed on Kiki’s likely fate when Hiaasen’s main character, “animal capture agent,” Angie Armstrong is summoned to the club to remove a huge Burmese python, “plunged into post-meal stupor” with a large revealing bump in its middle part.
Hiassen said, “When it comes to wild pythons, I have followed their voracious frolics through the Everglades for decades. I think it’s only a matter of time before what happens at the start of Crush me actually happens in real life. “
Squeeze Me, under normal circumstances, would seem wildly over the top, but not in Trump’s America.
Angie beheads the python on the spot, but further examination is foiled when it is stolen from her storage freezer.
In the subsequent bizarre voyages of the python’s body, Kiki’s body is disgorged.
Mastodon, desperate to appease the Potussies, decides that Kiki has been killed by an innocent Honduran asylum seeker, called by him the “Brown-skinned Demon of the Month”.
Angie decides to uncover the truth, eventually with the help of the First Lady, known as the Mockingbird, who is having an affair with bodyguard Keith Josephson, (real name Ahmed Youssef), congratulated by the president unintentional for her “beautiful tan”.
Mastodon is too busy to notice the affair, given his relationship with a stripper whom he passes off as his nutritionist. Hiassen admits that satirizing Trump isn’t easy: “The problem is, as satire, you can’t improve the words that really come out of his mouth.”
Crush me in normal times that would seem wildly over the top, but not in Trump’s America. Don’t expect it to be placed on the bedside reading tables at Mar-a-Lago, however.
- Press Me, by Carl Hiaasen. Sphere. $ 32.99.
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